(from a Turkish prison)
“But what really broke me was unmet expectations. I expected that God would intervene to carry me above my circumstances into joy, that even in grief I would feel strength and an infusion of grace, and most importantly, that I would have a sense of his presence. Instead, I felt abandoned by God. The truth is, God’s faithfulness and loyalty and love are never put to the test in our difficulties; it was my faithfulness, my loyalty, my love for him that was being tested.”
God’s Hostage, p. 213/ Nook; Baker Books 2019
This book was so HEAVY WITH HOPELESSNESS, that I could only read a couple pages at a time. Andrew’s feelings, though in far more difficult circumstances, felt too familiar; like those times I expected God to intervene and . . . He didn’t. At least not that I could see, then. And certainly not in the time I expected.
But I’d prayed for this stranger.
From a facebook post, I discovered he was from an area of North Carolina where I held cherished memories. I, with so many others, celebrated our prayer answers when this innocent man was released. I knew the book had a favorable outcome.
I think I kept reading because Andrew was so honest—–no superficial spirituality.
It feels so ugly when I go through struggles like a baby or drama queen (which I was in the middle of doing) and thinking that everyone else goes through with hope, patience and faithfulness.
Thank you, Andrew Brunson, for your honesty. I feel like you have walked through some struggles with me and helped me to recognize God.
P.S. Friends, do not shy away from hard books. You will find treasures therein.